The Trouble with Online Dialog, Hiding Behind an Online ID, and Viewing the World Through Personal Bias

Holy Crow! That is quite a mouthful of a title. If the title is intriguing enough to make you want more, then I’ve done my job.

You are about to get some personal insight into the life of yours truly: RedWrites.

Have you ever read something on the internet that got you so fired up that you just HAD to add your two cents? I have. It happened today, and despite the fact that I KNEW there would be intense backlash I would have to deal with, I responded anyway. i admit that I was motivated by anger, which is never a good mind set to be in when writing for the online world. My anger, however, was because of false information and a continued attempt to make something in my community that I love and value seem tarnished and ugly. Sharing those lies in this post or linking to the source will only serve to advertise and promote the falsehoods and will detract from its point which is to always ask yourself: How important is it really?

Yes, I’m breaking all the rules for online publishing: I’m not linking to an external source nor am I using keywords to help with my SEO. GASP!

Today, when I read something that was 1) very local, 2) dishonest and misleading and 3) totally not worth the anger I gave it, I felt compelled to correct the false information. Instead of recognizing the source of the content (i.e. where it is published) for what it was in the grand scheme of life (really, how important are most things when we compare them to the greater world around us? Not very.) BTW, for those connected to me in my off-line life who have been following some of the events in my personal life over the last few months, I acknowledge and recognize that I engaged when I agreed I wouldn’t and that I really, truly, finally, and surely have learned the all important lesson and will stop “poking the bear” as one friend so eloquently views any attempt to present facts to people who refuse to accept them. So, as the wrath that was thrown upon me like verbal daggers and the hateful, untrue accusations directed at me were hurled my way, I should not have been the least bit surprised. Because it’s happened before. Probably by some of the same people, just in a different online space.

Still, it doesn’t make it hurt any less, especially when I bothered to waste my energy in the first place. That reminds me, isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? Huh…

Anyway, it’s the people who aren’t in the middle of the quagmire who are reading and believing the inaccurate information that I want to know the truth.

It’s the unknown. And the truth is, giving my time and energy to the unknown is just dumb: really, dumb. It’s like trying to control the weather. And I will own that while the information I shared was accurate and something I would say to a group of strangers… even going there was dumb. I take responsibility for that mistake. The mistake was not in sharing the information, but in sharing it via that particular medium. Because really, the people who need to know, do. And the people who don’t care about facts and truth now, probably never will.

Too many people hide behind the the perceived brick wall of an online ID thinking they have a license to say what they want without suffering any consequence. These are the same people who will throw verbal daggers, often anonymously or with single-use usernames in an attempt to smear or ruin a person’s integrity. Those tactics are nothing but a diversion from the real issue because they don’t want to deal with presentation of facts. It is an example of how people looking for ugliness and a fight will find it wherever they go. Our biases and beliefs can easily make or break and entire experience and get in the way of seeing what really is.

I know this from personal experience. Tuesday I went to the tail end of an event to support someone participating in the event. I couldn’t make the entire thing, but arrived when I could. Anyway, I was expecting it to be presented in a certain way and entered the room looking for my expectations to be met. And they were. However, I am also willing to admit, that I saw what I wanted to see and that others attending the same event likely walked away with a completely different impression. I openly acknowledge that my thoughts were biased based on what I had previously experienced and that the reality of the event wasn’t so. I’m guilty of allowing my preconceived notions sway an opinion.

And I am confident that I am not the only one in this world who has experienced that. If someone is looking for a fight, looking for conflict, and approaching the world as though people who disagree with or challenge their ideas is determined to bring them down and make them fail, then that is what they will see even when it isn’t there. If someone is looking for ugliness, they will find it. And when it isn’t there, they will do all they can to make it happen.On the other hand, when people are looking for the opposite, they will find it too. How we perceive our world and what we expect from and of it will be our reality.

What happened in my tiny little, incredibly insignificant end of the world today was an example of that.

And I learned from it today. The words posted in an attempt to tear me down, make me run screaming,  and tarnish my name and reputation didn’t work. I know who I am. I know who and what I represent. And I will say that in a crowded room of strangers into a microphone any day. Because what I believe in and what I stand for is honorable and just.

And for the record, I contacted the appropriate people who run the website and was able to have those words and accusations I’m referring to removed for breaking the rules of the website’s terms of services.

Thank you to the people who made that happen.

And thank you to the people who reached out to me today to offer their support and encouragement.